bottle it up; drink it away ([info]pin_and_needle) wrote,
@ 2007-03-13 00:21:00
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cheap tricks for a thrill
you know the drill,
look into my eyes
before going in for the kill
once bitten,
twice shy
is that how the saying goes?
but when your lessons not learned,
everyone knows.

my flaws and mistakes
they're written on my face,
and everyone takes advantage of insecurities.

bite once for good measure
and twice for good luck
because it all comes down to,
who's here just to fuck?

take a step back,
because while the days go by slow,
your life is flashing before your eyes.



--bah, i feel like im trying too hard, i need to get this out!--

(3 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]loveischemicals
2007-03-13 04:58 am UTC (link)
I think you should try harder, because in a situation like this (Writers block?) The only way to get it out is to push even HARDER.

Think about it..

However, despite the whining about the ending unable to get done, and the curt and quite impolite "Ahh Shaadup" I received, I thought it worked pretty well.

There was one part I did like, particularly, and you already know which one it is I bet:

bite once for good measure
and twice for good luck
because it all comes down to,
who's here just to fuck?


Good shit. Give it a title and a number, man.

(Reply to this)


[info]tiny_teeny
2007-03-13 05:32 am UTC (link)
ooooh!!! I like it, although the ending is a little abrupt. and seriously the poem is really good, you should have kept going. KEEP GOING! DOO IT!

Im going to write now too bebe. <333 mitchell is coming down tomorrow for a little sleepover. but you should warm him, that the only person's pants you're going to be going down, are mine.

k thanks

<333 love you. you're brilliant, dont bring yourself down. I love your writing, you make me want to be a better writer myself.

(Reply to this)


[info]xlamentx
2007-03-13 12:59 pm UTC (link)
"but you should warm him".
Hahaha.

I loved this poem, I think you're really good at writing down thoughts quickly, and they always make sense. That's what this poems feels like exact thoughts. Sometimes I have a problem with trying to explain things wayyyy too much.
You are perfect.

And how dare you cheat on me while I'm in another country :P
<3

(Reply to this)

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